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Most people want to age in place and live at home for as long as possible: according to an AARP survey, three-quarters of people 50 and older are hoping to do so.

But managing this successfully may mean hiring outside help, such as health aides who can assist you with daily activities that have become challenging. You might wonder when exactly it will make sense to seek that service. How will you know when it’s time? What can aides do for you? What are the costs and how can you make the most of their help?

Is it time to hire in-home help?

An easy way to know if it’s time for outside help is if your health takes a sudden turn for the worse — perhaps as the result of a fall that affects your mobility. But more often, the need for professional assistance at home isn’t so obvious. It develops gradually, as certain abilities — such as cooking, cleaning, or driving — become more difficult.

Even if you’re busy, happy, and able to do your own tasks and errands now, there may come a time when the balance shifts and daily activities become challenging.

“A lot of times these observations are made by family members or friends, and they start the discussion about getting help,” says Dr. Suzanne Salamon, associate chief of gerontology at Harvard-affiliated Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center.

Start here: Ask yourself hard questions

You don’t have to wait until family and friends urge you to get outside help. Dr. Salamon recommends that you periodically assess your abilities and how well you’re managing on your own.

For example:

• Is it harder to get in and out of the bathtub because of muscle weakness or balance problems?
• Has driving become difficult because of vision changes, arthritis, or other reasons?
• Are you keeping up with your medication regimen, or are you sometimes not sure if you’ve taken pills?
• Are cooking and cleaning becoming much more of a chore than they used to be?
• Do you find grocery shopping or errands a little overwhelming?
• Do you need help bathing or getting dressed?

Be honest about the answers, and let your needs be your guide. “You might not need a home health aide yet. Maybe you only need a cleaning service to come in every other week,” Dr. Salamon says. “But if you need more assistance, it’s probably time to hire health aides.

What do health aides do?

Health aides are professional caregivers. There are two main types of aides.

• A certified nursing assistant (CNA): This is a trained, licensed professional who can provide hands-on physical care, such as helping you get up and down from a chair or bed, bathing, dressing, feeding, brushing teeth, and using the bathroom. A CNA can also perform homemaker services, such as cooking, light housework, transportation, shopping, overseeing medication routines, or sharing meaningful activities or conversation.
• A companion: This is a registered professional who can provide homemaker services but is not trained in body mechanics and cannot provide hands-on care.

The best place to find aides is through a private duty care agency, which vets and employs the aides, and takes care of their taxes and social security withholdings.

How can you find a reliable private duty care company, and what questions should you ask? Dr. Salamon suggests asking for recommendations from friends, your doctor, local senior services, or your local Area Agency on Aging.

How much does hiring health aides cost?

Private duty care is expensive. Costs average $25 to $30 per hour, typically with a three-to-four-hour minimum per week.

Those fees add up quickly. For example, if you need help two days per week for three hours per day, you’ll pay about $600 to $720 per month.

Costs are not typically covered by Medicare, but they are often covered by Veterans benefits. And they are sometimes covered fully or partially by long-term care insurance, state or local agencies on aging, or nonprofit groups.

What might hold you back from getting help you need?

Cost is a factor, of course. Even if it isn’t, you might not jump at the chance to hire home health aides. It could be that you feel you don’t need them yet, or that you’d be uncomfortable with strangers in your home.

But the sooner you can become accustomed to having professionals assist you with parts of your care as they become challenging, the better prepared you’ll be later, when you might require much more assistance. Trying services now can set you up with contacts — and caring people — you might need to lean on more often as time goes by.

How can you get over your reluctance? “Remember that you don’t have to commit to private duty care forever. Just try it for a few hours once a week. If it doesn’t go well, consider alternatives, such as eventually moving into assisted living,” Dr. Salamon says.

How far can a few hours of in-home help go?

What can an aide accomplish if you start out with just a few hours per week? Plenty.

You might want to set up a regular routine that includes doing laundry, changing bed linens, going on a walk with you, and making a large meal that can be frozen into smaller portions. Or you might want to focus on a theme for each once-a-week visit. For example, the aide can help you do errands one week, do some light house cleaning the next week, and help you cook the week after that.

“This is your opportunity to get the help you need, whether it’s with jobs around the house or basic activities of daily living,” Dr. Salamon says. “In the long run, it’s the kind of service that will keep you living on your own longer.”

About the Author

Heidi Godman, Executive Editor, Harvard Health Letter

Heidi Godman is the executive editor of the Harvard Health Letter. Before coming to the Health Letter, she was an award-winning television news anchor and medical reporter for 25 years. Heidi was named a journalism fellow … See Full Bio View all posts by Heidi Godman

About the Reviewer

Howard E. LeWine, MD, Chief Medical Editor, Harvard Health Publishing

Dr. Howard LeWine is a practicing internist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Chief Medical Editor at Harvard Health Publishing, and editor in chief of Harvard Men’s Health Watch. See Full Bio View all posts by Howard E. LeWine, MD

Small animals like turtles, iguanas, and frogs are often chosen as first-time pets for children because they are easy to interact with and low maintenance for busy households. While they can be fun, it may be best to avoid them.

The reason? “Reptiles and amphibians can carry germs that make people sick, the most common of which is the Salmonella bacteria,” says Dr. Elizabeth Hohmann, an infectious disease expert with Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital. “These animals live in warm and wet environments where Salmonella thrives.”

Outbreaks of illness across the US

Reptiles and amphibians often carry Salmonella in their digestive tracts, although the bacteria doesn’t affect them. The risk of illness from these pets became so severe this year that the CDC warned about adopting tiny pet turtles after reported outbreaks of Salmonella illnesses and hospitalizations in 24 states. (Other small pets such as mice or hamsters, and farm animals like chickens, may also carry and spread the bacteria.)

How is the bacteria transferred from pets to children and adults?

People become exposed to Salmonella through physical contact with the animals, their droppings, food, items like toys or food dishes, and habitats such as cages, tanks, aquariums, and water.

“They get the bacteria on their hands and then inadvertently touch their mouths or nose,” says Dr. Hohmann. This is especially likely in younger children.

Once exposed to the bacteria, people can get an infection called salmonellosis.

Who is more likely to get sick?

Anyone can get salmonellosis, but children younger than age 5, adults 65 and older, and people with chronic conditions are at higher risk for severe illness and even hospitalization.

“Kids that are very young don’t always follow proper personal hygiene or understand safety protocol when handling these animals,” says Dr. Hohmann. “Older adults and people with chronic conditions like diabetes can have weakened immune systems that make them more susceptible to illnesses.” In the most serious cases, the bacteria can reach the bloodstream and from there infect other places within the body.

What are the symptoms of this infection?

The hallmarks are diarrhea, fever, and abdominal cramps. These symptoms usually appear within six hours to four days after infection and last about four to seven days.

Call your pediatrician or primary care team for advice if you have a pet that potentially carries Salmonella.

When should you seek immediate medical care?

Seek medical care immediately if you or your child have any of these severe symptoms:

• diarrhea and a fever higher than 102° F
• diarrhea for more than three days that is not improving
• bloody diarrhea
• so much vomiting that you cannot keep liquids down
• signs of dehydration such as not urinating much, dry mouth and throat, or feeling dizzy when standing up.

What if you already have a pet turtle?

If you already have a pet turtle or similar high-risk pet, make sure everyone follows these safety steps from the CDC. Children may need frequent reminders about washing hands and playing safely.

Wash hands. Always wash hands for at least 20 seconds with plenty of soap and warm water right after touching or feeding your pet, and after handling or cleaning the area where it lives and roams. “Adults should make sure to teach young children how to wash their hands properly,” says Dr. Hohmann.

Play safely. Don’t kiss or snuggle the pet, and don’t eat or drink around it. Keep it out of the kitchen and other areas where you eat, store, or prepare food.

Properly clean. Use cleaning materials like a wash tub, sponge, and scrub that are reserved only for your pet. Always clean cages, tanks, and other pet items outdoors. Avoid using a kitchen sink, as this can increase the risk of spreading germs to your food.

But perhaps the best safety advice is to simply avoid these animals as pets — or at least wait until your kids are much older, says Dr. Hohmann. “It’s probably safer to stick with dogs and cats.”

About the Author

Matthew Solan, Executive Editor, Harvard Men's Health Watch

Matthew Solan is the executive editor of Harvard Men’s Health Watch. He previously served as executive editor for UCLA Health’s Healthy Years and as a contributor to Duke Medicine’s Health News and Weill Cornell Medical College’s … See Full Bio View all posts by Matthew Solan

About the Reviewer

Howard E. LeWine, MD, Chief Medical Editor, Harvard Health Publishing

Dr. Howard LeWine is a practicing internist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Chief Medical Editor at Harvard Health Publishing, and editor in chief of Harvard Men’s Health Watch. See Full Bio View all posts by Howard E. LeWine, MD

Loneliness is complicated. You can feel lonely when you lack friends and miss companionship, or when you’re surrounded by people — even friends and family.

Either way, loneliness can have devastating health effects. It boosts risk for coronary artery disease, stroke, depression, high blood pressure, declining thinking skills, inability to perform daily living tasks, and even an early death. The remedy? Below we offer three ways to ease loneliness and add happiness by helping you expand your social network.

Taking the first steps

Not all loneliness can be solved by seeking out people. Loneliness that occurs despite relationships may require talk therapy and a journey that looks inward.

Reducing loneliness caused by a lack of relationships is more of an outward journey to make new friends. “That’s a challenge as we get older, because people are often established in their social groups and aren’t as available as they might have been in a different phase of life. So you have to be more entrepreneurial and work harder to make friends than you once did,” says Dr. Jacqueline Olds, a psychiatrist at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital and the coauthor of two books on loneliness.

Trying these strategies can help.

1. Seek like-minded souls

Being around people who share your interests gives you a head start on making friends: you already have something in common.

Start by considering your interests. Are you a voracious reader, a history lover, a movie aficionado, a gardener, a foodie, a puppy parent, or an athlete? Are you passionate about a cause, your community, or your heritage? Do you collect things? Do you love classic cars? Do you enjoy sprucing up old furniture? Maybe you want to learn something new, like how to cook Chinese food or speak another language. Search for online groups, in-person clubs, volunteer opportunities, or classes that match any of your interests or things you’d like to try.

Once you join a group, you’ll need to take part in it regularly to build bonds. If you can gather in person, it’s even better. “The part of our brain involved in social connection is stimulated by all five senses. When you’re with someone in the same room, you get a much stronger set of stimuli than you do by watching them on an electronic screen,” Dr. Olds says.

2. Create opportunities

If joining someone else’s group is unappealing, start your own. Host gatherings at your place or elsewhere. “All it takes is three people. You can say, ‘Let’s read books or talk about a TV show or have a dinner group on a regular basis,'” Dr. Olds says.

Other ideas for gatherings — either weekly or monthly — include:

• game nights
• trivia nights
• hikes in interesting parks
• beach walks
• bird-watching expeditions
• running or cycling
• meditation
• museum visits
• cooking
• knitting, sewing, or crafting
• shopping
• day trips to nearby towns
• jewelry making
• collector show-and-tell (comic books, antique dolls, baseball cards).

The people you invite don’t have to be dear friends; they can just be people you’d like to get to know better — perhaps neighbors or work acquaintances.

If they’re interested in a regular gathering, pin down dates and times. Otherwise, the idea might stay stuck in the talking stages. “Don’t be timid. Say, ‘Let’s get our calendars out and get this scheduled,'” Dr. Olds says.

3. Brush up your social skills

Sometimes we’re rusty in surface social graces that help build deeper connections. “It makes a huge difference when you can be enthusiastic rather than just sitting there and hoping someone will realize how interesting you are,” Dr. Olds says.

Tips to practice:

• Smile more. Smiling is welcoming, inviting, and hospitable to others.
• Be engaging. Prepare a few topics to talk about or questions to ask — perhaps about the news or the reason you’ve gathered (if it’s a seminar, for example, ask how long someone has been interested in the subject). Or look for a conversation starter. “Maybe the person is wearing a pretty brooch. Ask if there’s a story behind it,” Dr. Olds suggests.
• Be a good listener. “Listen in a way that someone realizes you’re paying attention. Hold their gaze, nod your head or say ‘Mm hmm’ as they’re talking so you give feedback. Assume everyone in the world is just yearning for your feedback,” Dr. Olds says.
• Ask follow-up questions. Don’t ignore signals that someone has interesting stories to tell. “If they allude to something, your job is to look fascinated and ask if they can tell you more. They’re dropping crumbs on a path to a deeper exchange,” Dr. Olds notes.

Even chats that don’t lead to friendships can be enriching. A 2022 study found that people who had the most diverse portfolios of social interactions — exchanges with strangers, acquaintances, friends, or family members — were much happier than those with the least diverse social portfolios.

Ultimately, a wide variety of interactions contributes to well-being, whether you’re talking to the cashier at the supermarket, a neighbor, an old friend, or a new one. And all of these connections combined may go a long way toward helping you feel less lonely.

About the Author

Heidi Godman, Executive Editor, Harvard Health Letter

Heidi Godman is the executive editor of the Harvard Health Letter. Before coming to the Health Letter, she was an award-winning television news anchor and medical reporter for 25 years. Heidi was named a journalism fellow … See Full Bio View all posts by Heidi Godman

About the Reviewer

Howard E. LeWine, MD, Chief Medical Editor, Harvard Health Publishing

Dr. Howard LeWine is a practicing internist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Chief Medical Editor at Harvard Health Publishing, and editor in chief of Harvard Men’s Health Watch. See Full Bio View all posts by Howard E. LeWine, MD